I Am A Loser, or I'm One
Right as I thought about posting about whether I am a washed up loser or not...my free three day trial of the Sirius WHO channel plays my theme song...I'm One written by one of the only people who seems to understand me. So am I just some old fart-never made it in music-wanna be- obsessed fan...or am I the One. At least The One in context of my own life. I love being a husband and father but there is more to me and I can't get it out.Question: Can a 42 year old husband/father still find his dreams? I just want to be an artist and not a weekend guitar player/occasional song writer. Every day in a tie and at my desk seems to suck a little more life out of me.
All the best artists sacrificed so much for their craft, I sacrificed my craft to be a good father first then a husband. But I feel I have other children that never got to play with his dad...my art. My performing, my muscianship, my acting, my songwriting, my writing.
I can't believe God put all of this in me just to use it occasionally...why would He want my soul to pay such a price...now Imagine a Man is on the radio. I think my mom in Heaven worked out the song list...oh wait! Now. Let My Love Open The Door is playing.
The legalism of Christianity weighs me down sometime. I am still so confused from the abuse of the cult/church...I HAVE to believe God wants me to follow my heart when it comes to my art. Being a good husband/dad is one of the greatest rewards...but there is more...much more.
Don't give up. It's not too late. Tomorrow when I put on my tie, I will put a guitar pick in my pocket to remind me of who I am.
posted by Unknown @ 5:14 PM
3 Comments:
Yeah. I know that tune.
I have heard you sing it a time or two. I have to delete it from my playlist one of these days.
Hope you are well bro.
I can relate man, really.
I don't play live, but have found a sense of fulfillment in just being able to write and record lately. At 42, I too face the same questions. We have but one life, we have this time, use it as best as you can. Not having kids, it's just me and my wife and she is pretty supportive, although I really need to find a workspace where I can write and record without knowing the neighbors can hear what I'm up to. Not sure how my wife would feel if I up and joined a band. I've pretty much accepted that I will not be famous or make a career of this, but who knows, maybe one day I will write a song that is a hit and that will be that.
Thanks for the tip on that DVD, I found it on Amazon. Cheers.
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