stradasphere

October 9-Happy Belated Birthday To...

My mother Betty Mae, John Lennon and John Entwhistle. Weird, you are all three in heaven. John and John, you both made huge impacts on my life with your music and I wish I would have met you.

Mom, besides the fact that you gave me birth, my life is so much better having known you. Before you got sick, I remember how you always sang and you went through your days. How you always smiled and looked on the brighter side. You told me three important things:
Boys will be boys
Money is meant to be spent
Rules are made to be broken

I know you know I followed all of your rules to the tee! I wish you were here on earth to share my wife and my children. I can't come close to imaging how much they would be spoiled. Neither can I imagine how you and my wife would cook, shop, and laugh together.

It's been over 25 years since I last saw you. If I would have known that would have been the last time I would ever see you I would have acted so differently.

Yes, you were very sick and in your own world by that time and I didn't understand. I always thought you would get better, and able to lead a "normal" life. But normal was never in your vocabulary, and I learned that from you. I would have forgotten all the pain of watching you go deeper into delerium and hugged you tightly. I would have listened to ELO with you and ate chocolate. I would have listened to your crazy ideas and conspiracy theories and agreed with every one. I would have rented "My Fair Lady" and watched it with you. I might have asked you to make your special egg nogg with the sugary foam stuff you would float on top. I would not have whinced when you called me Honeybee. I would have brought you some lavender roses from the bush you planted at our old house. I would not have been irritated when you danced your 60's dance to the Beatles. I would have said I love you, Momma.

I am glad you are happy now in Heaven. That is where you always belonged. This world was too negative for you. Too many people arguing, too much anger, not enough music. It doesn't make sense to me either mom. Your glass was always more than half full...yours brimmed with sunshine. It was filled with a frozen daquiri or champagne. Your smile was too bright for this world and the sun was jealous of its radiance. You were so misunderstood and even shunned for your optimism. No one else would start a discussion on how ugly Linda McCartney was at a dinner table with your Mexican in-laws. Yet you always made my grandfather laugh, you were his favorite gringa. Everyone slowly turned away from you as you slipped from reality, but they all cried when you were gone. They all had such wonderful stories about you...after you were gone. Their tears stung their faces with hypocrisy and guilt. Mine stung but also soothed in a way. I knew you had to go and I was relieved in many ways.

I have so much to thank you for. So I will get started so we don't have to waste time in Heaven.
Thank you for...
your three rules
telling me the Beatles would get back together when I was sad
your smile
the times you held a washcloth on my head during my asthma attacks
all the blood you cleaned off my clothes, year after year
the toilet paper you bought me to TP houses
not telling Dad SO MANY THINGS!
letting me smoke pot in my room
all of the 8-tracks, albums, and cassettes you bought me
my first guitar
treating me like a little prince
driving me to concerts
dropping me off at the movies...then picking me up much later that night
the garbage can you put next to my bed when I snuck Dad's booze...and not telling him
not yelling at me when the police brought me home
pretending to be mad when the police brought me home
not letting the doctor amputate my finger..."my son wants to play guitar"
letting me eat cereal all the time
macaroni and cheese
tuna sandwiches
PB&J sandwiches with the PB&J mixed together first
the cool little shotgun you bought me
the millions of toys you bought me
taking me to karate
sneaking me out of the hospital to play video games
calling me Honeybee
all the cards and gifts on every holiday imaginable
loving my dad when he wasn't loving you
protecting me night after night
loving me more than any person could love another human being
my life
your life

Happy Birthday Mom, I miss you more than I can express in words. So listen to my heart from Heaven. I love you.

posted by Unknown @ 1:38 PM