The Glass
Yesterday I was reading Zach's latest about depression, God, etc. and I commented about the whole "glass-half empty/full thing". While I like to think mine is half-full, if not brimming. Often times I find it is actually turned upside down?with the contents inside and undrinkable. Move the glass, spill the contents. Then there are times, like this morning where it felt like someone turned my glass upside down. Digging deeper, I admit that I usually think it is God. I have done yet another thing wrong. I am not good enough. I deserve to feel like shit.
So basically, I wake up in lies before I can get enough caffeine in my system. And before I can pray. It happened this morning which led to me breaking out my mental Roledex looking for all the shit I need to worry about. That's where my OCD kicks in. Then the obsessing starts. It is maddening. My wife doesn't understand but she accepts it as a part of me. You see, I just can't stop worrying. Once the onslaught begins I have to go into battle. Mental. Spiritual.
My battle back to sanity involves some prayer but mostly music. I need to hear the right song or set of songs to set me straight. Since I don't do LSD anymore I need to find another way to have an out of body experience. Step back and look at who I REALLY am and what I really have.
I have a lot. I have a lot to give.
Look! The glass turned over...and it is full.
posted by Unknown @ 3:49 PM
2 Comments:
Music, hey? Have I got a CD for you. Two weeks ago we had a musical guest at church and they are very good musicians and they rocked and they worshipped. Our church never worshipped so fully as when they were here. I bought 2 copies of their CD not knowing who the other CD would go to. Now I know. How about you e-mail me your address and I'll send it to you.
I also feel like I could talk for a month on your subject at hand, but I'm not a good preacher so I'll refrain. I'll just remember to pray and maybe sometimes we can converse back and forth on it. I will leave you with somethign to read though, ok? Matthew 6:25-34.
GOOD MORNING!
p.s. I commented on the previous post as well.
Thanks PTFan!!! I emailed you my address. How cool of you! Yes, I pray a lot during those times. I always hear, "Wait, everything will turn out right..."
Post a Comment
<< Home