Prodigal Lunch
This afternoon I will be meeting my father for lunch. This would seem normal to some except I haven't seen my dad in about three years--my choice. Due to some very bad advice and guidance from a very misguided pastor, I cut ties with my family. While my dad and I have had many ups and downs, there was nothing that God and love couldn't get us through. After leaving a cult/church we were in (no purple robes!) I realized I carried a ton of pain around with me everyday. I made the move and called him. He had some "demands" to make and I ate some crow.I wanted him to ask for my forgiveness for an abusive childhood, but I chose to take responsibility for my part, especially how I treated my stepmother. Humility is a strange thing. Once you get the anger down, it feels pretty good. I found through many prayers that I may never hear him say "I'm sorry" but I am ok with that now. I'm 41 and he is around 68. I would rather spend the rest of our lives in as much harmony as possible. I forgave him in my heart and that is good enough.
An update will follow lunch. I am a little nervous!
posted by Unknown @ 9:21 AM
6 Comments:
I hear you on the nervous part. I hear ya on all parts actually.
Good for you. How very corageous of you to post this on the web. Yes, I would love to hear how it goes.
I'm glad you got out of that church and it sounds like you are in a good one now. I am thankful for that!
That is true that God and love can solve everything. We humans like to cop out sometimes, cuz even though God and love can solve it, it's a hard road to work out sometimes.
I hear you on being ok with not hearing him say he's sorry. As long as you are right with God and you do all you're supposed to do, it's alright. You still say what you need to say. In fact, your dad may be screaming those words out to you with his heart, but maybe just can't get them to come out of his mouth for pride's sake. Perhaps???
I tell you what. The very last birthday present that my dad gave me before he died was the words, "I love you." Although he has loved me since forever, I never heard him say that to me until the very last birthday he spent with me. He wasn't even in the same room as me, we didn't even have eye contact, and it was the strongest words anyone has ever spoken to me. I hope I never forget that day.
I better go before I start crying.
PTFan, the lunch went great...hard but great. He still had some anger issues with my and couldn't grasp how I could be influenced by a power hungry pastor but all in all it was a great step in the right direction.
Thank you for sharing the bit about you and your dad. It was very touching. Now I understand why you responded to my post the way you did! Thanks again for that. I think it is cool when us bloggers share our minds and hearts beyond our WHo and Pete obsessions!!!
Thanks again!
Hey..good luck...life is too short..remember how you still utterly and completely love your wife and kids even when you have the worst of fights, depressed or had a bad day...remeber how they love you warts and all...apply that simple knowledge when dealing with YOUR Dad!
I'm glad to hear that your lunch went well. I understand that these things don't get fixed overnight. I hope that you and your dad's relationship mends.
happy to hear you took this big step.
Thanks Metalchick and Keith. It turned out quite well. By the end of the lunch he was joking about how much grey hair I had, so we are definitely on the mends!
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