Zoloft Is For Normal People
Which would everyone have preferred, a highly medicated, fully stabilized
Vincent Van Gogh, or the Van Gogh of Starry Night?
I read this somewhere. Exceptional people are hard to accept. Not that I am claiming to be exceptional but I know I am not "normal" in the eyes of most. My wife sings my praises but has a hard time dealing with how I function on this planet. When I feel normal, it almost seems like a sell out. Weird. I see so many "normal" people, at work, church, wherever, and I think they might have it all together. I struggle with life at such a molecular level sometimes. I wanted to use the word granular there but...
I was wondering where all this came from then it dawned on me...I watched U2 and Green Day perform at the Superdome. That was extraordinary, exceptional.
I was told recently by a good and godly man that "the greatest thing I can strive for is a healthy family." Yes, he is right. And what if I pulled that off? Would it be enough? Is that exceptional or normal. Having a healthy family should come easy...if everyone would just listen to my drummer!
My head is in the clouds again and my body is in a tie.
There are but a few words
Thanks to CNN, I relived this day, the images, and many of the emotions. I was unemployed living in a small apartment with my family. I remember being so grateful for what I had that day. Now I have so much more and am less grateful. No matter your political views on this, take a moment to pray, be silent, whatever, for the victims of this atrocity. We still live in the greatest country in the world. I know my friends in the UK may differ on this, but today let me win on this! I find myself so attracted to the images all over again. Morbidity? Curiosity? Amazement? It still seems so unimaginable. But then I remember for many this was all too real. My heartfelt prayers to all of them and may God save a special place in heaven for each of them.
Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord.
Okay, so I took this silly test on Blogthings.
I took another one that said I should be an actor or musician. I think Blogthings is rigged...but fun!
You are quite expressive and thoughtful. You see the world in a way that others are blind to.
You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.
You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.
Your near future is a lot like the present, and as far as you're concerned, that's a very good thing.
For you, falling in love is all about flirting and feeling playful. You couldn't fall in love with someone who took life too seriously.
Stand Up
I have been absent from the blogsphere lately. Much going on in my head and heart, as usual. Most recently, I am playing and singing at a mixer for the West Valley Arts Council tomorrow night. Not a huge deal but could lead to some contacts and more gigs playing acoustic music. And I will make a few bucks. My friend who got me the gig has been encouraging me to pursue these deals as well as arts administration. He has also been lecturing me about not bowing down to other artists who insist on engaging me in a competitive sense instead of an artistic one.
Playing with my old guitarist has brought up some old issues. Who sings what, over analyzing the songs before we start to play them, weird shit. It isn't fun sometimes. Plus I have to have a serious talk about the singing part. I can sing lead and harmony. He can't and I am tired up being the harmony singer. If I am going to spend time away from my family to play music, it has to be good or I am out. Also, I am not interested in hidden power struggles and the like. I am not sure he can see what I see in him. I have played second fiddle to him and others for a long time out of necessity...I can sing more than others can. And I want to sing what I want to sing. I have the feeling this gig won't last long. I am sure he is not interested in mostly playing guitar while I front the gig and sing most of the songs. This is a 20 year old battle with him, one I am not going to fight anymore. I am realizing that jamming with him brings me full circle in this area. I am going to stand up for myself artistically.
In the past I thought I was being humble and giving as an artists but I was shooting myself in the foot. Also, I was not giving myself enough credit as an artist, musician, and singer. I am better than I claim to be because I don't want to seem arrogant. Well, I can be as good as I can be without being arrogant. I am also tired of being "pushed around" by controlling and seemingly insecure people. So I am going to be me at the cost of an old friendship which sort of feels like just that...an old friendship (not that we were always the best of friends).
So if he reads this first then I will know the time is right to talk about all this...if not, it is up to me to stand up for myself artistically.
