Environmental Happiness and Hazard
Environment makes a difference.
Just like when you are standing in an open field, you feel free.
Like when you stand on the beach, looking out on the vast ocean, you feel awed.
Just like sitting on Christmas morning with all the lights, presents, loved ones, you feel loved and perfect.
Just like when you have the perfect song in your headphones, it becomes the soundtrack to a wonderful life.
The adverse is unfortunately true, at least for the creative minded.
A sterile environment (work) makes everything, including your life, seem drab and lifeless. I have been moved from a very cool and creative work environment to corporate hell. I know I shouldn?t let it but the whole gig makes me feel unappreciated and loserish. I am not a loser at home but I take this loser feeling home with me and check out on the TV.
Time to remember who I really am, what I have, and what I really am.
Soundtrack=Stars by Switchfoot?
Search for a Church
Since leaving a very abusive situation I am in search for the right church for my family. I just met with a pastor and have met with a different one for the past few weeks. Still God has me waiting on His guidance. The guys I have met with are all young and have cool things going on. I still don't know where to go. This is a cool jouney, but sometimes a bit frustrating. I am in a weird spot. I know my family needs some time to heal but I have a restless soul. I am itching to join a praise team and rock out for the Lord, but again, I wait. This isn't a bad thing, and is keeping me very close to God.
I listen for His voice. It is soothing, however. Wait upon Him and He will lead me. He led me out of an abusive church and I know He will lead me again into the right place. He knows I am impaitient, but He has been so patient with me!
My Beautiful Love
angell
Originally uploaded by stradasphere.Listening to Beautiful Love by The Afters sends me into a daydream about my beautiful wife. It is a fantasy world much like the video...in my own video there is a guy with a guitar singing to a beautiful brunette. In the Afters video she is running in and out of doors and rooms. In mine, she is right next to me. My video is quite real however. Even as we get older and times seem to get tougher, our love gets stronger. Sometimes my Angell deals with depression or feeling worthless...I wish I could plug her into my video and let her watch. I wish I had the time, or would find the time, to write and record the songs that are for her. Perhaps listening to a man devoted to her for a lifetime singing will ease her pain.
Things are tough for my beautiful Love right now. Physical problems, spiritual healing, emotional healing, two kids, one aging rock star husband, and a loving and merciful God who does not make sense right now. So here is your song for today, my beautiful love...
Anger Management
I am not usually an angry guy. But today I am flat out pissed. I have people in other departments at work who just can't do their own job. I can't help it if my department is cool. ALSO there are those in other departments who have the hardest time following simple procedures...AND the fricken payroll department owes my wife a check from 3 weeks ago...but that isn't the worst part..
I have uncovered some deep and dark betrayal from someone my wife and I trusted with our deepest and darkest crap. My wife has been treated like shit for over a year by people who were supposed to be loving her...all under the name of Jesus. This makes me sick to my stomach...and angry. We have been judged hypocritically by people we trusted. We have been betrayed.
I think I feel better now...or I am even more pissed.
