Down With Down's
I woke up this morning bothered, terrified, angry, sullen, and hopeless. Mostly because my mind put me in my brother's shoes. He and his sweet wife just had a beautiful daughter...but there is a catch, little Chloe has Down's Syndrome. They seem to be taking it ok. I was not this morning. My freaking overactive imagination put me in the mindset of where my bro might be. The heartache, dashed dreams, horror, anger, confusion all hit me so hard I had to work very hard to shove the whole scenario out of my brain.But I still want to cry. Here I am with two perfectly healthy kids and I am much more of an asshole than my bro. He is one of the nicest people I know, and his wife is even nicer. I got to go to little league games and look forward to seeing my daughter's first dance recital and play. For the bro and sis-in-law, they are looking at what they will have to do to take care of their princess, will she get made fun of, how disabled will she be, will she look like either of them when she gets older, will she be able to play an instrument, ect. They don't deserve this. DAMMIT.
It was their first baby and they did everything right. They waited until they had the resources to care for a child, they planned it out. Everything was in place.
Yes, they will love her with all the love in the world, so will our family. But still, DAMMIT. Their future has been shoved into a completely different direction. The baby needs heart surgery at 6 months, and she is so tiny. DAMMIT (No, I am not trying to be Jack Bauer here)
Oh, I know, I know, God has His reasons and all that. But, today I am pissed at Him. Why my brother and his wife? The age old question: "Why do good things happen to good people?" You know what? I don't give a shit right now about all the Christiany things people will say. "God has a plan", "This is a blessing in disguise", and a hundred others. DAMMIT
Why him, why her, why them?
Little Chloe, this is your uncle Lionel. I am sorry. And I promise to love you with all my heart and soul. The good news is, you have great parents. And don't listen to me right now, God really does love you.
posted by Unknown @ 10:56 AM
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